When thinking about how to encourage
your children to eat healthier, the focus is usually on what
children are eating. Are they eating too many sweets? Are they eating fruits
and vegetables? Do they get enough protein?
But too often we miss the bigger
picture.
Your role as parents
is much more important than just serving the right kinds of food. Our job is to
help our children foster a healthy relationship with food.
Unfortunately, many of us do not have
the healthiest approach to eating, which can lead to medical and mental health
concerns in the long run. How do we avoid passing these pitfalls onto our
children? How can we help them establish a life-long relationship with food
that is positive, healthy, and sustainable?
Believe it or not, these lessons can
start as soon as your children first begin eating or can be learned as older
children. Helping children learn how to positively engage with food will set
them up with healthy eating habits that will stick with them for life.
Here’s how:
1. Food is not “bad”
No food is bad food. Ice cream,
chocolate, you name it. None of it is bad…it’s food. If we label food as bad, what does
that say about us when we eat these “bad” foods?
Our children should not be expected to
eat a perfect diet. Yes, the goal should be for your child to eat a healthy
diet, but there are always holidays, celebrations, birthday parties, or random
days when junk food comes out. Labeling food as “good” or “bad” sets your
children up for failure when they do eat these foods, as they inevitably will.
2. It’s okay to eat
sweets...sometimes
Sweets and treats should be enjoyed in
moderation. So when your children do have the opportunity to eat special food,
encourage them to enjoy the experience and avoid any associated guilt.
When my children come home from a
birthday party and happily report the vastness of their sugar binge, I may
cringe inside, but I respond, “I hope you enjoyed it,” “I bet it was
delicious,” or “What a special treat.” When I’m with them and there is a
special dessert, I encourage them to savor what they have—take small bites and
chew slowly. It is easy to hastily shovel in dessert and ask for seconds.
Help them enjoy different aspects of
what they are eating. Ask them what flavors they taste or what textures they
feel on their tongue. Teaching them to become connoisseurs can add to their
enjoyment of food and help them feel satisfied with the portion they receive.
3. Be a role model
for food exploration
If you want your children to try new foods, model this behavior! Most of us
have at least one food that is not a favorite. For me it’s eggplant. I eat
almost every other vegetable at the store. Although it is tempting for me to
never prepare eggplant, I try to incorporate it into our family meals. This
shows my children that there are foods I do not love, but am willing to try. My
expectation of them is the same one I have for myself.
4. Teach your
children to eat until they are full, not stuffed
When eating, there is a time delay
between when our stomachs are full and when our brain tells us we are. During
this lag, we continue to eat, which may lead to becoming overstuffed.
Helping children decipher when to stop
eating is an important and difficult lesson, but tapping into that innate sense
of satiation is a crucial step for lifelong health. Many of us as adults may
struggle with this ourselves and it is especially difficult when there is a
delicious meal on the table. Talk with your children about finishing a meal
when they are comfortably full as opposed to stopping when stuffed. These are
two very different feelings.
At meals, encourage your children to monitor how
their tummies feel and determine if they are full enough. If there is a
favorite food on the table, let them know they can always have the leftovers
for lunch the next day..
5. Don’t use food as
rewards, punishments or as a method of stopping poor behavior
Food has three main functions:
Nutrition, social engagement and emotional input. We need a certain amount of
nutrients to survive, so we eat. We eat as a method of socially interacting
with family and friends or during special occasions and holidays. Food also provides
emotional input…we enjoy eating good food.
Withholding food for poor behavior or
offering it for good behavior places an importance on food that muddies the
purpose of it. This includes pulling out snack food when a child is crying to
stop a tantrum or providing food as an activity to avoid boredom. In the
short-term, it may work to calm behaviors, but in the long-term, it incorrectly
casts food in a role that is inappropriate.
Disclaimer: I
do make a few exceptions to this rule. For example, sometimes, during the
initiation of toilet training, a small treat can successfully
motivate a child to use the potty. But it should be time-limited and faded out
as soon as possible.
6. Get help and
support if you need it
If you have an unhealthy relationship
to food, get the support you need so you can feel confident in helping your
children establish a healthy relationship with food. This is not easy, but
helping yourself first will better equip you to support your children.
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