Set Smart Limits
Take charge. Children crave
limits, which help them understand and manage an often confusing world. Show
your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their
passions safely.
Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain independence. So when
she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from
the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good
for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).
Don't try to fix everything. Give young kids a chance to find their own solutions. When you
lovingly acknowledge a child's minor frustrations without immediately rushing
in to save her, you teach her self-reliance and resilience.
Remember that discipline is not punishment. Enforcing limits is really about teaching kids how to
behave in the world and helping them to become competent, caring, and in
control.
Pick your battles. Kids can't absorb too many rules without turning off completely.
Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty
language. Focus on the things that really matter -- that means no hitting, rude
talk, or lying.
Create Your Own Quality Time
Play with your children. Let them choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just
go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.
Read books together every day. Get started when he's a newborn; babies love listening to the
sound of their parents' voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great
bonding experience that will set him up for a lifetime of reading.
Schedule daily special time. Let your child choose an activity where you hang out together
for 10 or 15 minutes with no interruptions. There's no better way for you to
show your love.
Encourage daddy time. The greatest untapped resource available for improving the lives
of our children is time with Dad -- early and often. Kids with engaged fathers
do better in school, problem-solve more successfully, and generally cope better
with whatever life throws at them.
Make warm memories. Your children will probably not remember anything that you say
to them, but they will recall the family rituals -- like bedtimes and game
night -- that you do together.
Be a Good Role Model
Be the role model your children
deserve. Kids learn by watching their parents.
Modeling appropriate, respectful, good behavior works much better than telling
them what to do.
Fess up when you blow it. This is the best way to show your child how and when she should
apologize.
Live a little greener. Show your kids how easy it is to care for the environment. Waste
less, recycle, reuse, and conserve each day. Spend an afternoon picking up
trash around the neighborhood.
Always tell the truth. It's how you want your child to behave, right?
Kiss and hug your spouse in front of
the kids. Your marriage is the only example
your child has of what an intimate relationship looks, feels, and sounds like.
So it's your job to set a great standard.
Respect parenting differences. Support your spouse's basic approach to raising kids -- unless
it's way out of line. Criticizing or arguing with your partner will do more
harm to your marriage and your child's sense of security than if you accept
standards that are different from your own.
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